Free Writing- The First Time

You are probably dressed in your best today. The kurti and the leggings are looking fine. The silver jhumkis are a prized catch from the trains. The kajal has not smudged yet. The effect of the gloss is there and the kolhapuris are the finishing touch to this ethnic appearance. All is hunky and dory till He passes by.

You are probably standing at the coffee machine. Maybe, you are cursing the watery brew that you have just collected in your mug till he utters the magical words, ‘Excuse me’ in that deep ‘oh-you-probably-want-me’ voice. As soon as he utters these words, the mug in your hand may be fine but within you, it will feel as if a gazillion mugs broke at the same time.

All the calm and collect on the face might just distribute itself into countless streams of anxieties and worries. Your nightingale-like voice might just turn into a squeak that is barely able to say, ‘Ya. Sure.’

This one encounter lays the foundation for those endless fantasies. For instance, you will want to crash into him while you are handling a huge bunch of unorganised papers. You will think he will take you into his arms and look deeply into your eyes. If you are a writer, you might feel as if he is gauging the depths of your souls. A well synchronised orchestra will play and he might keep stealing glances through the day. Such scenarios in your mind might just be ‘I am sorry’ in the real life.

While listening to your favourite running-around-the-trees track, you and him will become the protagonists. You will be amazed at his dancing skills ( In real, he might be the king of two-left feet people). But, at that point, nothing really matters.

You get a fairy tale amidst a crappy day. For all you know, you will wake up early to actually go to work ( for most of us, it is the opposite). Just one glance at him and you will be in la-la-land. The day he has a proper conversation with you, which could be him explaining how to get to a location, you will probably just throw a party. The man of your dreams went beyond the ‘hi-bye’ conversation.

Let me not even talk about the day when he is wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. That day ‘calm’ will meet with a catastrophe when it crashes into your raging hormones.

If you are lucky, while walking towards the station, he might be walking ahead. You will just be gawking and admiring that tall and lean frame and wondering that how can one man look so gorgeous.

While all this candy-floss is churning in your head, for all you know he might be a prick to someone or maybe not. In any case, enjoy it till it lasts. Good things come to an end and then begins the relationship. 😉

Of Walls and Distances

We choose the quaint old coffee shop down the street;

Hoping that the faded paint on the walls;

The soft background of Kishore Kumar songs;

The aroma of freshly prepared coffee;

Wafting from the kitchens;

Will re-ignite the old embers of our relationship.

The old world feel has a magic of its own.

We sit across each other;

Arms not folded across;

Yet amidst so many barriers;

We look at each other deeply;

Trying to find the people whom we fell in love with.

You look at me with questions;

Every time you blink,

You silently ask, “When did we lose the plot?”

And I only have one answer;

It is just that I got too comfortable with your absence.

I clasped our memories in a fist;

Fearing that they will get lost;

But the passing time loosened my fist;

And our memories continued to slip;

It was a time of epiphany;

I realised I could love you the best when you are not around;

Our distance built a wall between us;

One brick at a time;

And now we sit in this coffee shop;

Hoping its walls break down our walls.

Moving on.

Moving on…

These two words, simple as they seem, hold various connotations for different people. To some it could mean going away from a particular person whereas to others it might mean letting go a part of life. As I said, it seems similar, but there is a lot of subjectivity here. A friend’s story shed more light on the complexities revolving around moving on. Here it is:  Continue reading