I won’t ask you how have you been. I know, no matter how close I am to you, you will still put a curtain around you. I will tell you something. Even that extra coat of gloss won’t make your smile seem longer and fuller. That Kohl you put with such dedication, that won’t help in hiding eyes that have not been sleeping. The forced stride in your steps will not hide the shards that have crushed your heart.
You hold that phone with such a force, hoping that the next response will help you find that missing smile. You listen to ‘Koi Faryaad’ and ‘Tere Bin’ hoping that the tears will find their way out from the vault. But you know what? For now, exist. Don’t live. Hold yourself while the tornado is done ravaging everything around you. It has got its eye on you. It will slam you with sly moves while you put up that fight. Save some of it.
And you know what will help you sail through it? YOU. You are your own army, your own commander, everything. People have battles to pick and fight. They will not be a commander in your fight. They might even try to poach you for their battle because of your wonderful ability of bouncing back after every punch.
You have every weapon you need in your inventory. You don’t need fake assurances from two-faced turds.
I know how much you loved Iqbal particularly your belief that if you watch this movie before every exam, you will fare well. Remember that scene where Naseruddin shah says, “Dimaag aur dil jab ek saath kaam karte hai na … toh farak nahi padta hai ki dimaag kaunsa hai aur dil kaunsa hai.” You have got the two greatest weapons within you, why seek solace from someone who thinks of you as an object.
Dear girl, I could tell you more. But I will leave you with this hoping that you don’t find someone to talk to with an unsettling fervour, and rely on your own devices. You are a miracle of this universe, why be someone’s unnamed exploit?