It’s been a while since I have dropped in here. Like I have said before, this is my personal space. I don’t need to worry about rules or craft or anything like that. There is so much structure in my daily life that I need a space bereft of everything that attempts to put me on the ‘right’ month.
I was worried that I am going to suck real bad at my new job. Well, me being me, I still think that. But, some days are better than those panic-driven days. Yesterday, I had a good day. Everything I wrote was the way it should have been.
Now that I am on it, I hate this word, ‘should’, I hope I could do away with it. It’s a single word with so much weight. It is enough to bog a person down. It is powerful enough to clip wings and suffocate courage, leaving it to endure a slow and painful death.
How many times have all of you thought to do something out of your comfort zone, and then a should has rung a bell following which you have taken a step back?
A nice art assignment came my way, but I don’t think my skills are to that level yet to be able to deliver what is required.
Yesterday, I was talking to this writer friend of mine. He is a phenomenal writer but his insecurity and that need to be perfect is getting the better of him. I told him that writing, one thing which is meant to be beautiful and free, is getting tinted with all this purpose that is being attached to it. The day we start writing just for the sake of writing will be the day when we might actually like a piece than put it up for comparison with other writers.
I have also started chanting. I was doing that before. But I had stopped for some reason. And now I am chanting at least once in the day, which is good progress, I feel.
Anyway, I am signing off now. I hope my break is not too long this time.